What Lies at the Heart of Inequity?
This piece of writing is based on decades of experience, yours and mine, as well as the experience of the process of change in myself, others, families, teams and organisations.
First don’t see a problem. Explain away the situation.
Look for contrary evidence. Minimise the impact of harm.
Knuckle down.
Beneath the surface, unease.
Something about them walking the talk?
Over time, question. Explain. Argue a position. Defend. Justify.
See superficial action. Grateful for any progress.
Appreciate commitment to change. Focus on the good.
Celebrate success. Keep a positive mindset.
A vague sense of being duped.
Ingrained need to forget, ignore, distort, deceive ourselves.
Clouded judgement. Loose footing.
Blame be blamed, attack, be attacked.
Quick. Dumb down sparks of fire and fury.
Trapped. Stockholm syndrome. Scrambled perception.
Looping, obsessive thoughts. Discombobulated. Distracted.
Face mounting consequences of a a sick system. Undeniable pain.
Louder and louder. Until we hear.
Robbed of illusion.
Forced to face reality. The source of the problem.
An unwillingness to share power. Deep seated suspicion of difference. Doubling down of control.
Simultaneous playing the game of change.
Games up.
Eventually we learn. Stop finding fault
Stop trying to convince
Stop getting sucked into playing the game
It is time to
Drop.
Into how we feel. What we need. What we know we can trust. What we know to be true.
The strong temptation to outwit to win. The assumption that everyone plays cleanly.
The game.
Risk.
Create distance. Trust our perceptions. Test with friends, who genuinely want what we want.
Hold our fragile truth from those who have a vested interest in us being wrong.
Avoid.
Being sidetracked. Sucked into the game of blame & fault finding. Being the one hard done by.
Engage.
Be direct. Show respect. Set boundaries. Deliver clear consequences.
Focus on a win/win. Stand strong in the face of intimidation and hostility. Excommunication.
Pick ourselves up. Come back to the win/win. The higher order reality. Appeal to the reason of the heart.
Repeat.
Watch.
Cracks of light appearing. Freedom from restriction. Inner power blooming.
Small slow, external shifts. Big ripple effects.
What is seen can’t be unseen.
No going back.
According to some recent news reports women are leaving companies at the highest rate ever. Over time it becomes too hard to deny the repeating patterns in the world we all live in. The deeply rooted need to hold onto power, the deep distrust of difference, coupled with the distortion of our perception to cope with all of that.
Sending love and courage
Aine
Prompts for your Week
Prompts for your week
Where are you right now in relation to what is going on in your relationship, family, organisation, around what is equitable?
What happens when you allow yourself to drop beneath thoughts and feel?
Who wants what you want, where you can safely test your perceptions?
Where is the win/ win?
